Flip The Script
Publishing
That had yet to fully bloom
I was once a rose
My life’s unfolding
~Haiku No. 1
Table of Contents
I. GROWIN' WILD
Wildflower (a collaborative piece with AmiriAmani Haki)
Wild Child
Trail of Tears
hYpNoTiC
Ghetto Angel
My Man & Money
Dreams…Too Many of ‘Em
The Trust Game
Soulmates
Our Secret Meeting Place
Trumpet
Gemini-ish
My Peeping Tom
Conversations Between Lovers – Pt. 1
Music
Take A Sip
Untitled – No. 1
II. RAIN FALL DOWN
The Cleansing
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A Brotha’s Smile (for Earl “DMX” Simmons)
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The Truth
Why U?
I Suppose
Conversations Between Lovers – Pt. 2
Lips
Tonite, I Cried
Bring The Storm
Peace 4 U and Me
Kinda Blue
Suicidal Thoughts (contained)
Church Folk
Breakdown – No. 7
Mother!@$#&%
No One – Pt. 1
No One – Pt. 2
Wishful Thinking
In Season
A Painful Journey
III. THE ROOT
Teach Me Tonite
My 1st Love
If These Walls Could Talk
Untitled (4 Pac)
Strugglin (poem & prose)
Special
My Son (for Eric, Assata, and Ameer)
A Mother’s Sorrow (dedicated to the memory of Mamie Till Mobley and all those mothers who have lost their babies to racist murderers)
There’s A Time 2 Laugh…There’s A Time 2 Cry (a poem inspired by Nikki, a poem for Nikki and a poem for us all)
Second Thoughts
And The Oscar Goes To…….
IV. FERTILE GROUND
My Journey
Take It Easy!
Feel Good
Funky Love
Passion
Dreams of U
A Pleasant Dream
I Could Die Lovin’ U
Dance
For Me
My Childhood vs My Children’s (a reflection)
Fighting
i'm in the midst of being attacked
yet my screams
sometimes muffled; sometimes shrilling and loud
go unheard
i catch a glimpse of a familiar face
our eyes meet; yet they still look the other way
are you afraid to stand up for me?
come back!
please, help me!
i'm still alone
and my attacker shows no mercy
i fight, kick, punch, and bite
but my attacker still remains
no emotion, no words, and no explanation
simply attentive to my misery
sometimes i don't know why i continue to fight
i suppose because i see hope in the fact that
i haven't been taken out yet
but maybe that's the plan
a slow, torturous death
see, i am
The Ultimate Sacrifice
i am living, yet dead
my blood sucked from my being
leaving only enough that i survive
i am trapped
without proper ventilation
my air sucked through a tiny straw
the vultures pick at my wounds
and what's left of my soul
i manage to gather what's left of myself
and begin mending myself anew
but before i can heal properly
my tormentors are at me again
but i'm a fighter
though i'm not always at the top of my game
i can keep my head above water
but i often times choke
and i'm running out of energy
and i can't stick and move like i used to
my opponent keeps coming at me
seemingly, stronger with time
every time i knock 'em down
it gets right back up eventually
i've even taken a couple falls
and gotten back up; eventually
but i'm growing tired and weary, and i hurt all over
my bruises seem permanent
never to disappear completely
i'm a lover not a fighter
but tell that to my opponent
very often, my opponent is joined by others; looking to seal my fate
they enjoy sucker punching me, stabbing me from behind, and kicking me while i'm down
during the very worst rounds
there seems to be no one left in my corner
though somehow, i get back up before the final count
but i'm TIRED of fighting
and wish that i'd go ahead and
win
or
lose
My Wounds
You’re just going to do it...I can tell...You’re going to do SOMETHING
Doesn’t have to be drastic...But it’ll be enough...To make me cry out in pain...Again
My wounds are fresh...And remain that way because I keep pickin’ at the scab...As it tries to heal...But that cheap ass Band-Aid...Won’t stick...‘Cause it gets wet so easy...When I cry and the tears seep through...Those cheap ass Band-Aids
And I decide to let the wounds air dry…And I get happy...A little too happy...When I see you…Then I hit my scab on some shit...And it starts bleeding…And I start to focus on this shit...’Cause it fascinates me, I guess
And I know I should leave it alone...So it can heal properly
But…I’m so used to pickin’ at my wounds
Love Journey
I see you
as a progression on this journey of mine
And I pray that I have arrived
Not merely due to
impatience...
But more so
because I wish to stay
in this place
with you...
Another Day
Yesterday and many yesterdays before
I cried and
I panicked and
I hurt and
I cursed and
I lost hope and
I lost faith and
I stopped believing and
I kicked and
I punched and
I screamed at the top of my lungs and
I stared at the walls and
I barely slept a wink and
I…….grew…….oh…….so…….weary
Today and many tomorrows to come
I began to smile again and
I relaxed and
My pain was consoled and
I rejoiced and
My hope and faith were restored and
I started believing again and
I kissed and
I hugged more and
I sang at the top of my lungs and
I tore down unneeded walls and
I began to dream and
I…….grew…….oh…….so…….grateful
for another day
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A Conversation with the Author
By D. Ivor Lewis
DIL: Tell me what resonates with Tupac/DMX in your writings?
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M: In A Brotha's Smile (afterthoughts), I write "I have always felt a kindred connection to brothers and sisters like X. Their stories were like my own in some ways. I understood their pain, their struggles, their conflict, their ignorance, their frustrations, and their anger." I go on to speak about my own troubled upbringing, the "curse" of my given name and that damn "smile" lol, and the ongoing struggle to overcome those demons and "be able to smile through all this bullshit" as Pac once stated. As writers, I definitely connect with their words and I think that I'm a "soul barer" like they were and it reflects in my writing.
DIL: Are there other artists whose essence you tried to capture in your book? Who are they and why?
M: There are many other famous persons that inspired a place in my book from The New Birth, to Nikki Giovanni, to Emmett Till's mother, to Luther Vandross, to Samantha from Bewitched lol. But I also captured the essence of my mother, my father, Grandaddy, my sons, my daughter, lovers, Church folk, dreamers, loners like me, orphans, the homeless, and many, many more. All of whose essences are represented in some shape, form, or fashion in my story.
DIL: What are you other inspirations?
M: Music is a big one, though not intended, many references to music made it's way throughout much of my book. It's in the introduction, it's in a very short piece titled, Trumpet that goes:
LOVE
Is like a trumpet
And I feel like I might blow it
LIFE
Is like a trumpet
And I feel like I might blow it
It has it's own tribute in the piece titled, MUSIC that starts off:
It's
MUSIC
I'm makin' love to tonite...
Since a young age, music has always provided me with a huge release and relief. But not only that, it stirs the deepest senses in me and I'm almost like one with it when fully engaged. I'm truly in love with music and am grateful for it's existence with every fabric of my being.
DIL: Is everything written based on something that really occurred in your life?
M: Yes, everything written is based on something that really occurred in my life. Now if what you really mean to ask is something more specific like in say My 1st Love (a piece where I speak about the perils of a fatherless-daughter), when I write:
He calls me his little princess; I can learn so much from him
Does it really matter that I'm only 15 and he's 32?
At the age of 15 was I ever in a relationship with a 32 year-old man? Maybe. I remember being in high school and at one point having a "thing" with this older guy (don't recall his age or name now). He would come scoop me in his BMW and I suppose I remember his make of car because that was a part of what wooed me at the time. We'd hang out very casually and were intimate at times. I remember once, his wife that I knew nothing about, called my Aunt Mae's house about her husband! I don't remember much about the details, but I stopped seeing him and I don't recall him pressing the issue.
In a more intense piece titled, Motherf$%@# where I open up with a reference to a rape; I have not ever been raped, not physically anyway. Nevertheless, I identify with everything in one way or another in the book.
DIL: What did you learn about yourself in your writing?
M: Too many things to list it all. I've learned everything from how gifted a writer I am, to how passionate I am, to how different and intriguing I am; in a good way, to how brave I am, despite the fears that I still identify with in the book. How brave it is for someone as private as I am to share some of these things that I might otherwise be too embarrassed or ashamed or even bashful to share.
DIL: What would you want others to learn about themselves through you and the book?
M: I would want others to learn to be kinder with themselves, to not accept any death sentences; keep striving! I have already had a couple sistas let me know that they see themselves in my story. That pleases me because as Badu once said, "sometimes you feel like you're by yourself.." I believe that the overarching themes in my book say something positive that I hope evokes hope, determination, creativity, and even some form entertainment; with my stories evoking smiles and laughter and tears and empathy, thought-provoking dialogues, and whatever else that stirs the soul.
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